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Worst Parenting Moments: or the WPM Award-Day 1

Its award season (side note, Ricky Gervais and the Golden Globes? Snoozeroo. Bring back Neal Patrick Harris please.). I love award season. I love to predict the winners, make fun of the losers, and marvel at the stars stylists. I have noticed also as of late, that I am having my own "performances" with lots of "drama", very little "comedy", no "makeup" as if it came straight out of a "screenplay" particularly in the realm of parenting.

I also love a good blog theme, right? So I give you: The Award for Worst Parenting Moment: Day 1: Nearly Blowing the Whole Tooth Fairy Thing or it was all a dream, sleep on


I approach the door cautiously. Abbie locked it. Super against family rules to lock doors at night. Wonder if she's onto me and has figured out how things "work".

Grab piece from Sesame Street Domino Game to try to pick the lock. Unsuccessful. Cardboard ends have been chewed. Useless.

Rummage around in mule chest and find old baby spoon. Try not to analyze why there's a spoon in my bedroom. Have never fed kids solids in my room.

Breathe a sigh of relief that I don't have to shimmy my way under the bed to find the tooth pillow. I mean, seriously. Look at all the child needs to have around her when she sleeps. Feel happy she rigged a little system to make the pillow more accessible.

Relief turns to annoyance when I realize that she has MacGyvered a trap with shoelaces that are attached to her arm. If you pull on them she will wake. I KNOW. Getting way too smart for me.


Ha.Ha! Find that although she may be smart she's a lousy knot tye-er. So I am easily able to detatch the pillow along with the note inside and tooth. Note says "Dear Tooth Fairy, How are you doing. You are relly grate. I love you! Love Abbie.

Make the exchange

Crap my pants when middle child asks "What are you doing". Strike that. Crap my pants AND get startled so I threw the tooth somewhere when middle child asks "What are you doing"

Think fast and grab water on dresser and reply "I thought you might need a drink." Ignore accusing eyes over the water cup.

Go to bed with the knowledge that I've probably blown the tooth fairy for not 1 but 2 of my daughters. Clearly I am a show in for the WPM award today. Now about my speech.

Comments

Sean and Janet Eyring said…
LMBO (you know, the PG version of LMAO)
--Sean
January 19, 2010 at 1:35 PM
Angela said…
That's hilarious! You have one smart kid! I can't believe she rigged her tooth up to her arm.
January 19, 2010 at 3:07 PM
heidiram said…
The girl is a genius!
January 19, 2010 at 4:43 PM
queenieweenie said…
In my house the tooth fairy is super lazy and often forgets to collect teeth....for DAYS! Seriously, she's got to get it together.

That girl is too smart..it's her, not you!
January 19, 2010 at 6:37 PM
Nortorious said…
Love that you're willing to wake up kids for the sake of a good blog pic. She looks positively delirious with the flash in her eyes.
Rad post.
January 19, 2010 at 11:20 PM
Connie said…
Very funny! At least you remembered she lost her tooth. Did you know that the tooth fairy doesn't come on Monday nights? It's family night.
January 20, 2010 at 2:53 PM
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
January 22, 2010 at 1:36 AM
ashli said…
hilarious....
that girl is way too smart for her own good.
now are you going to feel bad when she is old enough to be told and she finds out you were lying all along? just wondering because i have a major lied complex right now. santa was almost non existent at our house this year because i couldn't pull the lie!

thanks for the laugh!
January 22, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Linsey said…
Booby trapped pillow, pretty savvy -- sounds a little like the apple not falling far from the tree.
January 26, 2010 at 6:22 AM
Peg, http://www.jaypegbargains.com said…
I love that she boobie trapped her pillow after locking the door. Try a little screw driver(phillips head to open the door) works in our house when doors are looked! I love your blogs!
February 2, 2010 at 10:04 AM
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