Why I totally rule: How I rediscovered my chi

(In order to fully appreciate this post, you MUST put on the background music. Just click the play from youtube. This has potential to be a longagong post so you might as well enjoy some tunes. I did most of my training with these gentleman blasting in my ear. Vampire Weekend, I love you.)



Here's the story with the gory details.
Why do you tri?
On October 18, 2004 I delivered a 16 week old boy in the same room of the American Fork hospital that I lost one six months earlier. (I get pregnant really easily.) The previous week I had seen the doctor and everything was looking good and right on track so yay for me. While the first one was devastating (a whole other post for a whole other day), it was number 2 that changed me. I was so angry at my body for betraying me and not letting me do what I wanted it to do. I figured I was doing all the "right things" with the taking care of myself so therefore, I would be able to carry the babies to term and everyone would live happily ever after. I thought that I was damaged and wrong in someway and my body failed a big test and I was unwilling to forgive its lack of "cooperation". I think mostly women believe that once you pass a certain point in your pregnancy (i.e. the first trimester) you are probably free and good from any problems. I foolishly believed that too, twice. I remember that I would be forced to replay the raw grief over and over at night in dreams where I would retell people I went to high school with how this terrible thing keeps happening and how it wasn't fair. With the 2 subsequent pregnancies (Amelia and Max) I absolutely detached myself from the experience. I didn't ever develop that yay! look how great I am for being and staying pregnant that I see a lot of other women flaunt. After we had Max and decided that he was a great little finish for our family I sort of chalked it up to being all done with the "job" my body is here for. (you know, the vesselhood and all). A few months ago I had this revelation that guess what, my body can do MORE than house babies (or not).

Although I have always enjoyed working out I have never participated in any sports and after 5 pregnancies in 5 years I was a little soft. Understand that the goal to do a traithalon was NEVER about losing weight but about pushing it to its limits to see what it could do. As the training progressed I rediscovered how strong I was and I also learned to forgive my body for the betrayal of not letting me keep those 2 babies. My inspiring friend Emily did the Triathalon last year and mentioned something on my blog about how she was going to get ready to train for it again this year. I was hooked.

Race morning breakfast bagel and Peanut Butter. Ready to roll.

Now in true motherofgeese style: highlights and lowlights
Getting ready:
Highlight: actually finding a company that sold tri gear to big girls. Holla! junonia
Lowlight: suck it Danskin, and everybody else who only makes gear for up to size 12.
Friday night: (there were some pre-race type festivities)
Highpoint: Realizing that I actually was competing in something huge and magical and that I could absolutely finish the race.
Lowpoint: While a race volunteer was handing out shirts she looked and me and yelled LARGE!!! to the people in back of her so they could get a large shirt. Shuttup little XS volunteer or I will eat you with pasta on my carbo load tonight.
Highlight: Saying loudly ain't nothin' wrong with the backstroke y'all to the race organizers who were encouraging the average swimmers to try to swim faster so they didn't get behind any backstrokers. sheesh.
Lowlight: Realizing that the swimcaps were rubberish making me feel rather "rubberish." (I had been practicing with like a fabric-ey kind.)

Saturday morning:
Highlight: having Brad willingly help me set up my transition area oh, so, early in the am. Oh, and the blasting of the music. "Pre-crazy Britney Spears", anyone?
Lowlight: looking down at my toenail polish that should have matched my "back in black" fingernails.

Biking:
Highlight: yelling WOO-WOO to the race volunteers every chance I could. oh and my bike. It was totally pimped out. Thank you to Travis Martin here.
Lowlight: Being passed. By a runner. While on my bike. Self-Esteemed Soared on that one.

Running:
Highlight: running with blogapalooza new friend Kim
Lowlight: peeing myself when I realized there weren't any bathrooms nearby. Oh well. Nobody noticed and there was a teenage kid who was hosing down his driveway and he hosed me down when I asked him too. And there was lots of sprinklers. But still. I willingly peed on myself. (Not while I was running with Kim, though so don't worry.)

Other:
Spiritual Highlight: singing We are all enlisted to encourage me on the hill climb (s). Happy are we!
Spiritual Lowlight: yelling I am SO bad a$$ before my sprint to the finish line. Not my finest seminary teacher/Primary President moment, but I really, really, really think I am bad a$$.

Things I learned:

• I decided at the last minute to change my race division from general 30-34 year olds because hello! I did not want to be competing against those other skinny and fit ladies. I thought I could easily take on the Athena (over 160 lbs.). First of all, those Athenas kicked my butt. (The Athena winner Sunny Lawrence came in 33 overall. The winner of the race came in at 1 hour. She was 13 minutes later. Amazing.) She betta watch her back though, cuz I'm gonna be right behind her next year.
• When women want to pass you (and it happened over and over and over and over again), the say Good Job!!! and pedal away. I'm thinking that men don't really do that.
• Triathalons are super fun but mostly empowering.
• This body can do much much more than be a vessel. or not.
• If this mom gig doesn't work out for some reason I am going to be a groupie for Vampire Weekend. Their tour schedule can be found here
  
• I really am seriously bad a$$.

More music. enjoy.