The Mother of Geese

Lady Di's sons described her as "The best mother in the world." Wonder how my kids would describe me. Today mother of the year said, "Just because I'm holding Max doesn't mean I can't beat you." Don't be tricked by the innocent smile. She's beastly today.

(This was told to me by another mom-I wasn't there and it probably isn't as cute to others but it was for me ) Yesterday on the bus my cutest Abbie approached the big bus driver before she sat down in her seat. (I'm sure her stuttering was in overdrive because a. it was a new situation, b. it wasn't part of a routine, c. she was talking to an adult) Abbie: Excuse me, I don't know how to put on my seatbelt. (Note, I'm sure the rest of the kids thought it was the coolest not to have seatbelts and didn't even want to ask) Bus driver: There are no seatbelts. We only have seatbelts for handicapped kids. Abbie: Well. ok. I guess those public health commercials that are actually intended to keep you from driving drowsy work because I lie to her and tell her the kids die because they didn't have their seatbelts on. I rule.

Abbie had her first day of Kindergarten. She was so excited and nervous all morning and kept wishing she had morning kindergarten because then she "could be there already". She spent the morning making me a picture with her photo on it and the words. "I love mommy I wl ms you wn im a skol" (It was in perfect mirror-image...looking to the teacher to fix that one) We had the morning to do chores (Tuesday Tub/Toilet Day), played on the computer, curled hair, ate lunch, said prayers--then in true Danielson fashion almost missed the bus. Since I am THAT mom I grabbed Brad, Amelia, and Max and followed the bus to school so I could take a picture of her getting off the bus. Oh and Fergie is a stupid Butter Face (thanks Paige...awesome!) because her song was playing in the car and I lah-ost it bigtime. Here's a little sampling of the lyrics. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket (blanket...pink girl, sucking thumb) But I've got to get a move o...

Dear Anne , Last night I ate handfuls of mini teddy grahams. It didn't help. Last night you cooked the apple strudel. It was delicious. It didn't help. Last night I had spoonfuls of hot fudge straight from the fridge. It didn't help. The reddi-whip straight in the mouth? Frothy, but it didn't help. This morning I gobbled animals crackers and milk. It didn't help. I was tempted to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, when I remembered It won't help. All I can do, is say I love you. There. That helps.

Someone to take care of this poorly neglected and pathetic middle child. Must be patient. No need to do the hair more than 2 times a week and must be willing to hear the word MINE as is captured in the photo. A HOA president who gives a frick about end of summer sprinkler problems. Knock yourself out kids. I have some shampoo in the trailer and you can call yourself bathed for the day. Note these pictures were taken at 2 different spots, 2 different times a day. I am NOT going to tour the neighborhood to see what else is out there.

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Thanks to the bumper crop of tomatoes (not mine, mine was less than average) I have been making and canning salsa all weekend. Last year I only canned like 6 pints and I was so annoyed that ALL those tomatoes shrunk down so itty bitty--but Brad really likes the salsa so I'm adding a little spice to keep the man downstairs happy. I canned 25 pints and am doing another 25 before next week. (I am already looking ahead at neighbor gifts for Christmas. Yes I am THAT good). By 5:00 the whole family was a little punchy so we grabbed a bucket of chicken and headed up the canyon. The brilliant minds at the local KFC neglected to include napkins, utensils, and straws so we had to be a little creative when it came to the coleslaw and mashed potatoes. (Hint*those chicken bones sure are handy but suck at scooping things). We were like a white trash nascar lovin' family from Marrekesh eating with our fingers. On the way home from the canyon Abbie saw this nice gentleman and remarked how much...

Your package arrived for my birthday. Thank you! I love my new sticker book! Love, Amelia

Nothing too exciting this week. Bigbootymama starts this weekend so I'm basically trying to clean out the freezer. (Oh yeah, remember I have a Trader Joes cheesecake and a couple of apple strudels? Does that count as cleaning out the freezer?) Monday: Chicken Pesto Calzone Tuesday: Hot Dogs (Canyon?) Wednesday: Spinach Greek Pasta Thursday: Stuffed Tomatoes Friday: Maddox

And yes, Abbie sulked for about 20 minutes this morning because she didn't match her sister and brother. So she compromised by finding an outfit that had orange, blue, green, and pink in it. Seriously, its like having playing dress-up with some lippy dolls.

At least they can fight over who makes 1 bed instead of me fighting with them both to make both of their beds. (Note-creepy Abbie openeyedsleeper, huh?)

Reasons I love my now 2-year-old. #1. She's a tease. Loves to grab things and run away. #2. She will go to the TV and say Hoo-Hoo Ha, which is code for "Turn on Curious George" #3. Her favorite cereal is dehydrated marshmallows-she will not mess with the oats that accompany it. After all the marshmallows are gone she will hold the bowl up and say "Maur-ie Peebs" #4. She blames others for her poopy diapers. I'll say Mia do you have poops? And she says Daddy poops. Or point to Abbie and say Abbie poops. #5. Her first word was Abbie and she says it 7,000 times a day. #6. She loves to brush her teeth and will do it every time she passes the bathroom. #7. She walks around holding a strawberry shortcake doll to her nose and inhaling the sweet smell. #8. When someone is giving a prayer she will repeat over and over again what she wants you to say until you say it, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. #9. She runs up to Max and grabs his hand and makes him wave to her and ...

Since I start school on Tuesday and those grueling 3 hours a week outside of the home is so tough on the family routine I figured it was time to have planned menus again since the days of burgers and hotdogs are sadly numbered. Here goes: Monday: Omelets, tomato salad Tuesday: Chicken with Pineapple Avocado Salsa Wednesday: Poached Salmon Thursday: Black Bean Quesadillas Friday: Date with Abbie Saturday: FFY I'm a little sad that I start school before Abbie does because I really could use an extra week or so, but so are the days of our lives.

The law of attraction seriously stinks like Amelia after too many fruit snacks. When I was in the hospital I was handed a little ditto called "Your baby and yeast." Since I had no interest in making little baby Max rolls or bread I tossed it thinking that the universe knows that surely yeast has never been an issue with me or my babies. 3 Days after coming home I developed mastitis or Maxtitis and was put on penicillian. Max developed a diaper yeast issue that was put on a cream. I got hurty nips and swore mightily under my breath every session. Last night I noticed that Max had been eating cottage cheese or something was on his lips. So we are pretty much passing yeast back and forth like no ones business. We are both on meds now but are a little touchy to say the least. AND no sugar for mama. Boo for yeast. (I do however realize that all of this is super minor when compared to other's drama and health issues but they are my boobies and used to be my friends.) THEN, I wa...

Thanks RJ. Your good luckiness did it again. And yes I cried when they announced that she won.

When I was on my mission my nephew RJ was born and I missed it. I was sad and feeling very lonely and extremely homesick to be missing all the fun. A few nights before he was born I had a really trippy dream where I was hanging out with an adult spirited baby version of RJ who had all kinds of massive head-wound Harrys all over his scalp. Imagine my surprise when I finally received word from home 3 weeks later and saw pictures of his forceped and vacuumed nogin. Eversince then I've always known he was pretty special. He is 15 times cooler than I will ever be and very special. Kind of like a good luck charm. My feelings were confirmed when I got this email with this picture. So America here's how it better go down... Neal will not win because his hair too closely resemembles my hair experiment/rebellion/fiasco last summer. Danny will not win because like I have forgotten how rude you were the first few weeks. Lacey will not win because I am so sick of her fake "YOU really l...

Brad still hasn't caught on to the fact that Abbie and I watch very carefully what he wears in the morning because we will likely put Max in a matchy-matchy or coordinating outfit. Its like having the life sized Ken dolls to our Barbie collection only better...

So I realized on Sunday that I never took a picture of the girls in their Easter dresses. What with all the vomiting and such that was taking place in my life at the time I thought it would be a good idea to stage another Easter photo shoot. Then I remembered what a pain it will be to get down the Easter backdrops so here are the girls on a plain old Sunday in matching dresses. Period.

It's Saturday night and I spent the date night with this lovely while watching Anne of Green Gables. Perfect Night.

Calling in for MORE reinforcements!!! Granny 911 was called and ah-all better today. Poor Grandmamala just is one gal and can only be in one place at a time. A BIG MAC(X) shout out to the newest little quarter pounder cousin HAL. Nobody likes the late guy to the party and why arrive on time when you can come EARLY and start school the same year as Max? On a separate note, we are all looking forward to Daddy coming home this evening. Amelia will stop saying Daddy, pool?, Abbie can quit being bored, and I can slip him a mickey of Galactogogues (go ahead, google it people...)so that my dearest can REALLY share in the fun of the first couple of weeks.

I have too many children today.

Dear Daddy, Here's what I looked like on Monday. This is my 3rd outfit. Mom is still trying to get the hang of where to aim my manhood so I stop doing this. She did not have this trouble with her girls. Here's a few numbers for you... 11, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6:30, 8:30. That would be the number o' clock that I woke Mom up to have her dame la teta. I don't really understand why by the 5 she was crying and kept putting a cold wash cloth on my face to wake me up so I could actually complete a feeding. Sheesh. Amelia held me for the first time today. She kept startling me because she would do her fake cackle laugh and she thought it was the coolest to be holding da beebee. Well, I am going to cry now for la leche. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Love, Max

Dear Daddy, This is what I looked like on Sunday. Mom is officially totally outnumbered. Even if she thinks she can get Abbie on her side there is still 2 against 1. Ha. Ha. Abbie thinks its great you are going where the cowboys live and she said you will probably hear coyotes at night. Also be careful of the porcupine trees. Also, thought you should know my manhood has healed fine and it looks like it probably should after the circ. Shalom. Stupid Abrahamic Covenant. Love, Max

Dear Daddy, This is what I looked like on Saturday. It could be because I am really loving the loritab/advil/penicillin cocktail mom serves me up every coupla hours. Its fabulous. Miss you and your late night TV watching with Mommy. Craig Ferguson is really funny. Especially on Loritab. Love, Max

Is this the classic Danielson kissy face lip or what? Dear Daddy, Just in case you forget what I looked like on Friday: Also, Mommy sort of makes fun of me saying I sometimes look like this: but I can't help what my newborn crazy eyes do right? (more importantly, I grow out of this right?) So here is a picture of what I did today for about 20 hours (not in this position, though)

How how am hating you this morning. Just because I am on a 24-hour schedule should be no excuse for you making me stay up until 2:00 am because "I will be up anyway feeding the baby so I might as well catch another one..." Oh, and I hate that its the sabbath today because I would love to get disc 3. HD

So Brad and I have this thing when we are watching movie previews we will shout your cue! referring to another's preference of a particular type of movie. (for example, Die Hard 3, I say your cue to Brad, Becoming Jane he says your cue to me), We are of course, talking about our separate cues for Netflix that don't interfere with each others ability to keep renting movies at our own whim. It also excuses any expectations for one another at having to sit through movies we might not want to sit through. The great Maximo and I came home from the hospital on Tuesday. I came home to a very clean house and the girls in really good shape routinely speaking. Brad helped me up the stairs, helped me pop a pain pill and has been pretty much doing EVERYthing ever since. Its been a very your cue type of week. For some reason I am in no hurry to make myself recover any faster than I have to because I have learned once again the simple truth... Brad makes a WAY better wife than I ever do.... ...