The Mother of Geese

I am. I'm downstairs in the basement with Brad chatting a bit. (She has left her room during her naptime and has decided to come downstairs to see what we are up to..Don't judge me, but I have been known to lock her bedroom door sometimes to prevent this from happening.) We hear, flush! bang, flush! bang, flush! bang. *sigh* Brad and I decide to sneak upstairs to see what she's up to. I grab the camera for proof. Earlier this morning I changed the toilet paper roll. Looks like I get to do it again here. On a separate note Abbie got a snail for her fish tank to help with the cleaning of the tank. Amelia named him "Haseeim" pronounced Ha-see-yem. We have no idea where she got that from. She is so cultural isn't she? She has since changed his/her name to Hasseim: baby fish snail.

My blog turns 2 YEARS old this weekend. 342 posts and 2 years old. Not bad.

And I had so many children I didn't know what to do? But I really wanted to trim down my roses? And rake my old ground cover ? And divide my lamb's ear ? And throw down some good compost near the front door garden bed? But my 2 -year-old was putting fist-fulls of soil in my baby's ears? And then she took him for a ride in the sled? And then left him somewhere sitting in it and went to go jump on the tramp? So the 6-year-old came and sat next to him with her friend? And they were laughing and screaming EWWWWWW! And then they reported to me that he was eating deer poop? And apparently if you google "baby ate deer poop" you will find 84,300 results? And you can't stop dry heaving while he smiles "one toothed bambi breath" at you? Yeah. That was awesome. Poor Max and the Snowman Hat which will hopefully be put away until the next winter.

What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receeding hareline. (Note, I stopped for a few minutes to call Nana and he made quick bizniss of his basket) More pictures later...

Dear readers- Please go here and agree with me that looks really are THAT important. Thank you.

Feed him broccoli and let him suck it all day long. But make no mistake...his burps are NASTY!

He makes me chocolate cake for dinner (Friday) He follows the high-altitude directions (who?! does that?!) He lets me put sprinkles all over it. (and crunches without any complaints with my over-sprinkling.) He cleans up the cake mess. He hides it from the kids so I don't have to share. He wraps it in wrap so it doesn't dry out. He even wraps the knife inside so I don't have to hassle myself with finding another one. He is righttherewithme on my sugar crash the day after. I Like Brad.

With no added artificial colors or sugars. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This morning's green breakfast went better than last year . We had a great party at Grandma's last night complete with luck, cash, prizes, and great food. (I forgot to mention that we had a great big old laugh when Brad confessed that he thought Peter Pan was a leprechan and wanted Peter Pan to come and visit him and give him presents for St. Patrick's Day. We are not sure where that came from...Gary? Both Peter Pan and the leprechans are short and wear green?! who knows.)I used Wilton food coloring rather than that namby pamby food coloring set at the grocery store. Much better! Also, I have found at least a temporary solution to my high blood pressure and eye twitching as of late. I like to call it "Mommy's plan to have the girls get rid of their sense of entitlement, fighting, talking-back, sassying, procrastinating of their jobs, enough with the negative reinforcment rocks" . And the...

ain't she pretty? I have been dying for a stroller that would be a. double, b. jogging, c. non-jogging, d. work as a bike trailer e. not ugly. f. super cool. I have been drooling over this one for about a year but we were having a hard time justifying the cost. Well, it just goes to show if you cry about it enough, eventually you get what you want. True conversation: Anne: (while over admiring my pretty new stroller)so is this your Max push present? Me: Yep! Brad: What push present? Me: The present you were supposed to give me for pushing out Max. Brad: But you didn't push him out. All you did was make an appointment. Silence. Palpable eye daggers being thrown in his direction. Brad: Ok. Its your push present.

don't worry. She got into the lotion yesterday after her nap. sigh.

They probably would have a few choice words for Mia Mia. Holy Crap!! The sky is falling!!! Here are the items after I have "fished them out" of the birthday 5 gallon tank: 2 Barney flashcards with cardboard carrying case, jar of fish food, pretend baby powder, 2 blocks, sleeping beauty dress, spoon, *eraser. *The puzzle eraser that I am not going to get out because I'm sort of grossed out by the fish. Side note: Perhaps I could have nipped this in the bud yesterday. Brad was cleaning out the garage and Amelia found Abbie's old Barbie fishing pole. Amelia pulls the chair out and starts heading for the fish. I intercept the mission just in time. Our little Amelia Darla is hard to resist though isn't she? Don't tell Abbie. She's gonna be ticked.

Attention: You, as the mother, will no longer be allowed to shower while your 2 year old is eating her lunch of noodles unsupervised. Because to tell you the truth, its more of a pain to clean the floor than clean your sad, tired, old body. The picture does not do the damage justice. Sigh. (thanks Brad for cleaning it up for the mom though, you're a peach.)

I've been reviewing my bloggedy blog lately because my 2 year anniversay is coming up. I realized that try as I might to capture real life sometimes its a little bit sunnier on the blog than it is in real life. Behold, I give you...Real life... I was playing blocks on the floor with Amelia (actually we were playing make a garage for the petshop mice out of blocks) and Abbie wanted to come and play. We were happily playing when the phone rang. (telemarketer). In the time it took me to say no this is not a good time I hear screaming and saw this. Abbie was angry about something and the claws came out. (I have been meaning to trim them.) I got down on Abbie's level. (and bit her nails off). I sent her downstairs to be with dad. (bigtime punishment). I comforted Amelia. (course I took a picture first). Continued playing with Amelia. (those mice need lots of garage space). Then a very repentant Abbie came up and wanted to hug everyone and felt really bad about her temper getting out...

So I just sent this letter to the HOA where I live. I feel like skipping around. Why did I not do this like 5 months ago?! "For some time I have been acutely aware of my inability to perform the duties as should be expected to the community as president. Due to my family demands (I think we all witnessed what I am dealing with at home with my oldest), extended family challenges, seminary position, school volunteer work, and a demanding calling I am finding that I need to clear my plate. Although I would still be interested in serving on the board in a lesser capacity, I would like to request that the board remove me as president so I can devote the time and energy to the other pressing matters. Thank you and good luck. Heather D." in other words...LET SOMEONE ELSE DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!boo-ya.

I could use a little help. Thanks to my friend I am doing something totally unlike me and very very ambitious. (More on that later....) Mostly, I need some music that would be suitable to get my booty moving. I seem to be SO SICK of everything on my ipod. So, what moves you?

Today is Brad's birthday. We have been eating and celebrating all weekend. Last night I was on my laptop blogging and apparently so was he. He has a blog that he uses to test out different templates etc...so imagine my delight when I realized that he has actually posted a few things. Were we a match made in heaven or what?! Read this post . Its about me so of course its charming.

Brad took the picture of me teaching GD a year ago. I was not pleased. No pictures. Brad took this picture of Max while I was teaching GD a month ago. I was pleased. Pictures of Max are fine by me. Some important thoughts on my new calling: In the 21 years since I have been in Primary as a merrie miss (apparently they are not called that anymore), I have subbed a handfull of times. It was not a success. One time, while subbing for Brad I went into the class and the boys had escaped out the window. All I saw were a set of feet as the kid was leaping out. Another time, while subbing for Brad I used the tie some kid was using and irritating everyone around him with and TIED HIM TO THE CHAIR. Another time, while subbing, the kid sliced his finger on the chair (not the same kid and he was not trying to escape my tying him up.) and ended up in the ER. (and it so happens that his mom is my 2nd counselor. I think that's funny.) I really really really loved teaching Gospel Doctrine. I hope ...

Background: I did stories, prayers, songs, teeth were brushed, clothes set out for next day, kissed and hugged them so I was DONE with my duties for the day. Perspective: Abbie likes using Amelia as her lackey to do things she knows will irritate me but...who is going to get mad at Amelia, right? Scene: Doors opening, slamming, laughing, all kinds of shenanigans happening. Mommy goes up and firmly tells girls that's enough and its time for bed. (rinse, lather, repeat 2 times..) Mommy puts on her really mean face, and uses her really mean voice and tells the girls that its time for bed and that I don't want to hear or see them until the next morning. Brad even commented on my excellent Nanny 911ness and how good I did with the situation. When the morning comes around I find this little gem. (Translation-it says...) Do I love you No (answers own question) ROND UWA (runned away) Abbie D. (so I won't confuse her with the other Abbie's in my life) angry scribbling signatur...

For Abbie's birthday Brad thought it would be a good year for a pet. (We briefly considered a bird but I. just. couldn't. do. it.) We settled on a fish tank. Amelia gave her rocks. She was a little confused. When she first felt the bag through the wrapping paper she thought it was filled with M&Ms. Max gave her the little plants. I love how she is trying to be grateful and polite but really she has no idea what to do with a bag of rocks and pink plastic plants. Now its finally coming together.... Now she's figured it out! She is so excited for her pet. Getting the tank ready. Meet Richard and Lucy. They are a bit shy. In the next few days she hopes to add to the fun. (On a separate note I feel I must document this...When we went to the pet store I was holding Max and showing him the puppies. He was touching the window and the puppies were all climbing all over each other trying to attract his attention. It was so cute that I thought to myself someday I'm gonna buy m...

I was trying to be cheerful this morning and channel my inner nie chi at breakfast. I present to you: Eggs 4 ways Eggs number 1 : Hard boiled. Kosher salt. Period. Eggs number 2 : Scrambled yolk only. Barely tolerated. Eggs number 3: Scrambled whites and yolks. Cheddar Cheese. Requests for more. Eggs number 4: Over easy, english muffin, leftover asparagus. Ridiculous that I make 4 different types of eggs? Yes- its self-inflicted and I do the same for oatmeal. (steel cut for me, Harvest for Brad, Quaker instant for the girls, Gerber for the boy). What can I say, if I channel the nie chi I will do this happily, in an apron, and with red lipstick on.